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Da Bones Quote Lists

BoneComing '96.1

March 8-10, ECAC Hockey Quarterfinals

"I shot my wad early."
-- Ersk, on getting drunk before he even got to Ithaca

"Nina's gettin f*cked?! Well...not thoroughly."
-- Mike, to Ersk (he meant literally)

"Uh, we have some beer and cigars, Sir."
-- Norm, sucessfully diverting the Canadian border guards

"My butt is a baseboard heater."
-- Torch, insisting on the virtues of convection odor dispersion

"Drinkin' beer with my f*cked-up friends."
-- All, singing American Pie at Dunbar's (with our f'ed up friends...)
"My hands are all sticky now."
-- Nitro, after swallowing...a shot of AfterShock

"I need a warm body to sleep next to. You're nominated."
-- Sammy, to Craig

"I just need someone to wipe my face off."
-- PukeChick

"Wait, Dersk, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you sleep in there before?!"
-- Scersk, speaking of Dersk's 'occupancy' of Toby's room

Torch : "Toby, you could look like Walter Mathau without too much effort"
Toby : "Yeah...rbmbrmbrmbrbm "[with concomitant head shaking motion...very realistic]

"Oh, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. My nuts!"
-- Torch, on getting squeezed between a wall and Ersk and Scersk wrestling

"Bowling?! Christ! I have a hangover and he's bowling?!"
-- PukeChick, on the phone/answering machine speaker

"Is it me, or did we incorporate last night?"
-- Sammy

"It's one of those 'stogie hangovers.'"
-- Craig

"Why, Wupert, you're pwastered."
-- Elmer Fudd, on Saturday cartoons (yes, we were up in the morning...and drinkin already)

Weintraub : "What are you doing in Cincinatti?!"
Goon : "Uh, living there."

Norm : "How are two plain omelettes different from scrambled eggs???"
Waitress : "They're overcooked."

"I'm going to do something weird over here."
-Sammy, on ordering his big b-fast

Norm : "Are you drinking?"
Nitro : "Yeah..."
[Torch places pint in front of her]
Nitro : "Oh, you mean now??"

"I have Dersk's meat, on a fork!"
-- Torch, holding up Dersk's...ham

"It'd be like birdshot if you threw up, though."
-- Goon, on eating Grape Nuts with beer

"They just kept pouring and pouring and then it overflowed."
-- Bill, on meeting Uncle Bols

"We won't tell anyone about this."
-- Kevin, on 'crossing streams' with Torch

"You didn't happen to wake up with an extra Plane ticket, did you?"
-- Dersk, to Scersk, lamenting his lack of a return ticket

Scersk : "I was way too drunk last night."
George : "Can you put the words 'too' and 'drunk' together in the Bone Section?"
Others : "Yeah, a Bone can't be too drunk."
Sammy [looking thoughtfully at the floor] : "There are limits."

"I was thinking, 'There goes La Pizza!'"
-- Scersk, on remembering that he yakked

Dersk : "Look at all these beer stains on my pants."
Torch : "Are you sure they're beer stains?"

"New scientific evidence shows: short-term memory is stored in the stomach."
-- George, on Scersk's yak and amnesia

"I have a vague recollection of beer and a couch, and that was from a week."
-- Dersk, on his stay at the 99

"I wonder what they do with all that Rice-a-roni?"
-- Nitro, randomly, on game show losers

"There are a lot of misfiring neurons at this table."
-- Dersk, on the less-than-coherent conversation at Cosmo's

"I like your hip checks."
-- Nitro, to Jamie Papp (hockey player) at Dunbar's (drinkin beer with her f'ed up friends...)

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