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Stupid Bone Tricks

A few of our traditions

 

Listed here are several of the traditions of our noble section. Some have to do with rehearsals, some with us just running around making fools of ourselves on campus or at a game, but most just deal with what the average schmoe might see us doing and roll his eyes at. Why do we like doing what we do? Ask another trombone about that one, but the answer will probably be something like 'why not?' So this page will show you that if we can't entertain others, we can at least entertain ourselves. Some of these may seem like big, thought out events, but any bone can assure you that anything we do probably didn't have a lot of planning. Most bone ideas start late at a happy hour with the words "Know what would be cool?..."

Not all of our traditions are listed. To become an all knowing, true Big Red Bone, you are going to have to join our ranks to find out. So, sit back, and relax. We hope you find what we do to be entertaining. Kids, don't try this at home. Remember, this is not a competition, only an exhibition, and as always...no wagering.



Hawaii 5-O

When: Last home football game, mid-November.
Where: Schoellkopf Field
What: This is probably one of our oddest traditions, and a favorite among members. Basically, after the Big Red Band's final home halftime show, instead of the proverbial 'bone wedge' (see "Cheers") the Cornell bones strip down into Hawaiian/loud shirts, shorts, and bare feet. Once everyone is in their beach attire we run as fast as hell to the student section in West stands, and play the theme song to "Hawaii 5-O" as fast as hell, then run to the cresent as fast as hell, play it again, and get dressed as fast as hell. Now, usually, Ithaca weather in November is accomodating enough to make us numb and a few fans to laugh. But in recent years, most notably 1994, the weather has been quite mild, prompting the response "oh look, they're in shorts...just like us." Basically, although it's hell on us for a few minutes, the more snow, the better. Pain motivation works great for us to play REALLY fast tempos.
Why: One of the great unanswered questions. No one really knows who started this silly tradition, or why. One theory is to mock the trumpet tradition of wearing shorts to rehearsals. But the real story remains unknown.


Bone-Carolling

When:Mid-December, end of classes, Fall semester.
Where:North Campus, West Campus, Central Campus, and Collegetown. Basically all over Cornell, wherever we hear people who like us.
What:Oh the weather outside is frightful... Yes, every holiday season, da bones are merry and feel the need to spread their holiday cheer to everyone else. So on a brisk December night, shortly after classes end, the section heads out to get arrested. Not really, but it gets close sometimes. We play for the dorms, and around campus wherever we feel wanted. Usually we try to go early in study week when we will disturb few actual studies. The reactions range from rude (Shut up!) to friendly (Yay!!) to bizarre (Play some Skynard, man!!). There almost always seems to be a little trouble with the law, when one grinchy person can't stop reading for 5 minutes to listen to a humble section play. If enough of the white stuff is on the ground, it is a given that a snowball fight ensues. Afterwords the section heads somewhere for warmth and some...hot chocolate. Santa needs another cold frosty...oy!!
Why:Another hazy origin for this one. I think it started around 1992, just 'cause it seemed cool. An older alumni remembers that it used to be the Tubas who carolled. Oh well.


Bone-"Cheers"

When: Football Season, and whenever our "services" are whored out by Band-Staph.
Where: Schoellkopf Field, usually. Occasionally opposing schools' fields, if we feel like speading our mirth. But really anywhere, anytime.
What: After the BRB wows the sellout crowd during halftime, (*cough*) and the team runs out for the 2nd half, the bones form a "Bone-wedge" (or blob) to march (meander) around the track to our adoring (indifferent) fans. We stop at various places and play a couple of songs arranged for bones. Our standards include: "A-Team", "Underbone", "The Hey Song", and the greatest song ever arranged for bones, our signature, "Cheers". Old as dirt additions to our repitoirre include, "McHale's Navy", "Bone On The Corner", and "Bone-anza". Note that our songs don't include obscure, boring, out-of-tune fanfares...(OK, enough trumpet bashing).

More recent additions: Jump, Little Bit of Soul, For the Longest Time

Failures include: Secret Agent Man, Sunshine of Your Love, Linus and Lucy, Love in an Elevator,. AllStar, Hill Street Blues, I Can See Clearly Now.

If there is an opposing band, we usually wander to their section and invite their Bone section to play with us. This is a sincere gesture of Bone Unity, so put your damn band loyalties aside and have fun with us. Show everyone why bones are so cool.

In addition, because we are so loved and musically gifted, we are often rented out to play for special alumni, trustee, and administration events. In these cases, we have a special set of Cornell Spirit songs arranged as well.
We'll do this selling-out especially if it means free food, or if the band owes community service.

Why: Because we are so loved by all. The student section waits all week for this. They get whipped up into such an unbelievable frenzy for this, it is unreal. If we were to stop this tradition, there would be an on-campus riot that would soon spead around the region until the entire Northeast corridor would be in absolute chaos. Democracy would crumble, and society as we know it would come to a fiery conclusion. And if you believe that, we have a certain suspension bridge to sell you. Who knows when it started?


Being a "Bone-Head"

When: Literal sense: When lining up for parades or scrambling for concert-formation.
Meta-physical sense: We're ALL Bone-heads at one point or another.
Where: Parading or in-concert with the BRB.
What: When the band is scrambling around to get lined up, everyone in their uniforms look similar. To locate the bone section just look above the crowd, and you should see at least one bone lofted in the air. Usually done by the front rank of bones for parades. The proper technique is to place the hat on the tuning slide, and then wear the bell on top of the head.
Why: *BECAUSE* we're bone-heads...we *NEED* bone-heads. Got it?


Bone Piles

When: Anytime, anywhere....when you least expect it.
Where: For safety's sake, in a soft, grassy area. Most common at rehearsals or concerts.
What: For bones who deserve it...show up incredibly late for rehearsal, do something stupid, or no reason whatsoever. It's a type of bone-punishment. Involves the initial tackle, and the rest of the section piling on. In the fall of '97, we had our first injury from a bone-pile, Joe Salsbury '99 (arm).
More recently, Lizzie Troyer '11 gashed her head open as she ran from a bonepile. It had to be stapled back together. But she marched four days later, because da bones are tough like that. But...let's be careful out there, eh?
Why: Once upon a time, someone did something stupid, and it happened. (Can you tell that we have the origins of these traditions well documented?)

In recent years, Bone Piles have seem to become a necessity of every collection of bones, and has become more a sign of love than of punishment.


SPLOOIE!!

When: During Parades.
Where: During Parades.
What: At a certain spot in the marching cadence, a member of the bones (the "Splooie-Master") calls this marching style. After counting it off, the section drops low to the ground, and kicks out our legs. After the cadence section, the Splooie-Master shouts out for a "straight-march" which is again counted off. Ask Ed "Splooie" Miranda '97 for a demonstration. ;-)....
Why: *shrug*


Other Parading Thingies!

When: During Parades.
Where: During Parades.
What: Torch March, Post Gait, Wiz March (coming soon), Pimp (PIMPIER!) March, Typewriter (when coordinated), Chips Hat, "Back Dat Ass Up",

And for real fun, combing them! Combo-chips-hat-pimp-march splooie!!

Why: Freestyle Walking!


Booyah

When: Whenever
Where: Wherever, except the 408 living room
What: Just play the song and find out
Why: Because Penn Sucks


Bone HOCKEY!!!

When: Bonecomings
Where: Lynah Rink
What: Hopefully, our newest tradition. This started during Tablewine's bachelor party in July of '97. Best-Man Torch planned a great Bachelor Party that included...ice time at Lynah! Everyone involved had a bang-up time...literally. Some of the older alumns are still sore. I think one of the teams actually won. But it was such a blast, it was unanimously agreed over beers at the Chapter House afterward that we need to play hockey again and often. Ideas include Underbone vs. Alumni games. This tradition was renewed in the fall of 2000, and we hope to have more games in the future.


Bone Houses

When: School year
Where: See below list
What: Since we're such a tight-knit group...and we need places for happy-hours, there is an apartment each year occupied by Bones for Bones. Bone Central. The vortex of all that is good on campus. Those who live there understand the risk of having something (or someone) smashed at various parties throughout the year, as well as friendly visits from "Ithaca's finest" for noise complaints. The following is a record of past Bone Houses:

 

  • '88-'89 -- 4?? Eddy St.
  • '89-'90 -- 31? Mitchell St. (@ corner of Linden)
  • '90-'91 -- 127 Linden St.
  • '91-'92 -- 636 Stewart Ave.
  • '92-'93 -- 426 Eddy St.
  • '93-'94 -- 120 Oak St.
  • '94-'95 -- 134C Valentine Place -- aka "BoneSouth"
  • '95-'96 -- 134C Valentine Place -- aka "BoneSouth"
  • '96-'97 -- 114 Eddy St. #1 -- aka "Bone Hole", aka "Piece of Sh--"
  • '97-'98 -- 411 Dryden Rd. #3 -- aka "La Femme D' Bone", aka "Bone Sn----"
  • '98-'99 -- 601 E. State St.
  • '99-'00 -- 921 E. State St.
  • '00-'01 -- 414 Stewart Ave. aka "Bone Hovel"
  • '01-'02 -- 207 Kelvin Place #1 aka "Bone North"
  • '02-'03 -- 207 Kelvin Place #1 aka "Bone North"
  • '03-'05 -- 410 Dryden aka "The 22% Bone House"
  • '05-'08 -- 923 E. State St.
  • '08-'15 -- 921 and 923 E. State St. - Both Sides!
  • '15-Sometime Later -- 408 University Ave.
  • ...
  • '20-'22 -- 921 and 923 E. State St. - Both Sides Again!
  • '23 -- 923 E. State St. - Both Sides Again!


[Ed. note: '88-'92 provided by Craig Bloom '91 '92 '93 and his self-admitted "swiss cheese" memory. That's what 3 senior years with da bones will do to ya. Anyone with more accurate info, please email webmaster@bones.org]


Section Leaders

What: Our fearless leaders. Up until the early nineties, the position was more or less chosen by some holier-than-thou snob on Band Staph. The section began controlling it's own destiny and leaders several years ago. The position(s) is good for one calender year (Jan.-Dec.) and is voted by the section each December, usually after carolling. Of course, we are all "the Bones" - one big happy family - so the "section leader" position holds no real power over other members. It's more of an organizational title. Willing to put up with all the crap thrown at us by Band Staph and the administration. Able to organize beer runs in a single bound. In recent years, the position has been handled by tag-team duos.

 

  • 1981: Kathy Barkey
  • 1982: Danny Gleitman
  • 1983: Kurt Thaller
  • 1984: Kurt Thaller
  • 1986: Ken Shuman '87
  • 1987: Marc Weissman '88
  • 1988: Anne West '89
  • 1989: Derek "Dersk" Vandivere '90
  • 1990: Kevin Rugg '91
  • 1991: Jon "Tablewine" Logan '94 (in absentia)
  • 1992: Jon "Tablewine" Logan '94
  • 1993: Dave "Chuckie" Chamberlin '94, Jon "Tablewine"Logan '94
  • 1994: Mark "Torch" Dawson '96, Rich "Opie" Hovorka '96
  • 1995: Mark "Torch" Dawson '96, Rich "Opie" Hovorka '96
  • 1996: Toby Emo '97, Scott "Scersk" Southard '97
  • 1997: Adara Alston '99, Ed "Post" Hutchins '99
  • 1998: Ed "Post" Hutchins '99, Joe Salisbury '99
  • 1999: Kelly Chesbro '00, Aris "Arsk" Tsoupros '00
  • 2000: Mike "Smear" Owens '01, Chad Potocky '02
  • 2001: Chris "Bizarro" Parkin '03, Chad Potocky '02
  • 2002: Tau Kung '04, Mike "Chips" Steinfeld '03
  • 2003: Lauren Forconi '06, Tau Kung '04
  • 2004: Maggie Newbold '07, Mike Vance '06
  • 2005: Kevin Foster '07, Bryan Jolley '06
  • 2006: Zach Maben '08, Maggie "Cello" Rich '07
  • 2007: Lauren DiCristofaro '10, Andie Moffitt '08
  • 2008: Dennis Buehler '09, Amanda Fischer '10
  • 2009: Lauren DiCristofaro '10, Lizzie Troyer '11
  • 2010: Kathryn Abbott '12, Lizzie Troyer '11
  • 2011: Sarah Modi '12, Zach "Five" Sherman '13
  • 2012: Frank Gonzalez '14, Zac "Shark" Shirk '14
  • 2013: Frank Gonzalez '14, Joshua "JCS" Schupp '15
  • 2014: Rohan Acharya '16, Julia Kelly '16
  • 2015: Brendan Duffy '17, Jackie "Fatneck" Horn '16
  • 2016: Matt "Zug" Gleason '18, Jordan "Jojo" Greissman '18
  • 2017: Alex Fernandez '19, Kevin Juarez-Leon '19
  • 2018: Ji Ann Greenberg '19, Kevin Juarez-Leon '19
  • 2019: Alex "Puffle" Loane '21, Devin Smedira '21
  • 2020: Brian Henn '22, Maddie Parga '22
  • 2021: J Nation '23, Lizzie Viebranz '23
  • 2022: Corey Neil '23, Yawen "Yrsk" Ding '23
  • 2023: Josh Faber '26


Thanks to K. Rugg for the older ones.


NOT SUCKING

When: Always and Forever...sort of like "Cats", but we don't suck.
Where: Everywhere
What: WE DON'T SUCK...EVER. Try some other section.
Why: Because we fail to suck.

 


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Current Bone Webmaster (by decree) - Slice '25: mzs9@cornell.edu