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Stupid Bone Tricks
A few of our traditions
Listed here are several of the traditions of our noble section. Some have
to do with rehearsals, some with us just running around making fools of
ourselves on campus or at a game, but most just deal with what the average
schmoe might see us doing and roll his eyes at. Why do we like doing what
we do? Ask another trombone about that one, but the answer will probably
be something like 'why not?' So this page will show you that if we can't
entertain others, we can at least entertain ourselves. Some of these may
seem like big, thought out events, but any bone can assure you that anything
we do probably didn't have a lot of planning. Most bone ideas start late
at a happy hour with the words "Know what would be cool?..."
Not all of our traditions are listed. To become an all knowing, true Big
Red Bone, you are going to have to join our ranks to find out. So, sit back,
and relax. We hope you find what we do to be entertaining. Kids, don't try
this at home. Remember, this is not a competition, only an exhibition, and
as always...no wagering.
When: Last home football game, mid-November.
Where: Schoellkopf Field
What: This is probably one of our oddest traditions, and a favorite
among members. Basically, after the Big Red Band's final home halftime show,
instead of the proverbial 'bone wedge' (see "Cheers") the Cornell
bones strip down into Hawaiian/loud shirts, shorts, and bare feet. Once
everyone is in their beach attire we run as fast as hell to the student
section in West stands, and play the theme song to "Hawaii 5-O"
as fast as hell, then run to the cresent as fast as hell, play it again,
and get dressed as fast as hell. Now, usually, Ithaca weather in November
is accomodating enough to make us numb and a few fans to laugh. But in recent
years, most notably 1994, the weather has been quite mild, prompting the
response "oh look, they're in shorts...just like us." Basically,
although it's hell on us for a few minutes, the more snow, the better. Pain
motivation works great for us to play REALLY fast tempos.
Why: One of the great unanswered questions. No one really knows who
started this silly tradition, or why. One theory is to mock the trumpet
tradition of wearing shorts to rehearsals. But the real story remains unknown.
When:Mid-December, end of classes, Fall semester.
Where:North Campus, West Campus, Central Campus, and Collegetown.
Basically all over Cornell, wherever we hear people who like us.
What:Oh the weather outside is frightful... Yes, every holiday
season, da bones are merry and feel the need to spread their holiday cheer
to everyone else. So on a brisk December night, shortly after classes
end, the section heads out to get arrested. Not really, but it gets close
sometimes. We play for the dorms, and around campus wherever we feel wanted.
Usually we try to go early in study week when we will disturb few actual
studies. The reactions range from rude (Shut up!) to friendly (Yay!!)
to bizarre (Play some Skynard, man!!). There almost always seems to be
a little trouble with the law, when one grinchy person can't stop reading
for 5 minutes to listen to a humble section play. If enough of the white
stuff is on the ground, it is a given that a snowball fight ensues. Afterwords
the section heads somewhere for warmth and some...hot chocolate. Santa
needs another cold frosty...oy!!
Why:Another hazy origin for this one. I think it started around
1992, just 'cause it seemed cool. An older alumni remembers that it used
to be the Tubas who carolled. Oh well.
When: Football Season, and whenever our "services" are
whored out by Band-Staph.
Where: Schoellkopf Field, usually. Occasionally opposing schools'
fields, if we feel like speading our mirth. But really anywhere, anytime.
What: After the BRB wows the sellout crowd during halftime, (*cough*)
and the team runs out for the 2nd half, the bones form a "Bone-wedge"
(or blob) to march (meander) around the track to our adoring (indifferent)
fans. We stop at various places and play a couple of songs arranged for
bones. Our standards include: "A-Team", "Underbone",
"The Hey Song", and the greatest song ever arranged for bones,
our signature, "Cheers". Old as dirt additions to our repitoirre
include, "McHale's Navy", "Bone On The Corner", and
"Bone-anza". Note that our songs don't include obscure,
boring, out-of-tune fanfares...(OK, enough trumpet bashing).
More recent additions: Jump, Little Bit of Soul, For the Longest Time
Failures include: Secret Agent Man, Sunshine of Your Love, Linus and Lucy,
Love in an Elevator,. AllStar, Hill Street Blues, I Can See Clearly Now.
If there is an opposing band, we usually wander to their section and invite
their Bone section to play with us. This is a sincere gesture of
Bone Unity, so put your damn band loyalties aside and have fun with us.
Show everyone why bones are so cool.
In addition, because we are so loved and musically gifted, we are often
rented out to play for special alumni, trustee, and administration events.
In these cases, we have a special set of Cornell Spirit songs arranged as
We'll do this selling-out especially if it means free food, or if the band
owes community service.
Why: Because we are so loved by all. The student section waits
all week for this. They get whipped up into such an unbelievable frenzy
for this, it is unreal. If we were to stop this tradition, there would be
an on-campus riot that would soon spead around the region until the entire
Northeast corridor would be in absolute chaos. Democracy would crumble,
and society as we know it would come to a fiery conclusion. And if you believe
that, we have a certain suspension bridge to sell you. Who knows when it
Being a "Bone-Head"
When: Literal sense: When lining up for parades or scrambling for
Meta-physical sense: We're ALL Bone-heads at one point or another.
Where: Parading or in-concert with the BRB.
What: When the band is scrambling around to get lined up, everyone
in their uniforms look similar. To locate the bone section just look above
the crowd, and you should see at least one bone lofted in the air. Usually
done by the front rank of bones for parades. The proper technique is to
place the hat on the tuning slide, and then wear the bell on top of the
Why: *BECAUSE* we're bone-heads...we *NEED* bone-heads. Got it?
When: Anytime, anywhere....when you least expect it.
Where: For safety's sake, in a soft, grassy area. Most common at
rehearsals or concerts.
What: For bones who deserve it...show up incredibly late for rehearsal,
do something stupid, or no reason whatsoever. It's a type of bone-punishment.
Involves the initial tackle, and the rest of the section piling on. In the
fall of '97, we had our first injury from a bone-pile, Joe Salsbury '99
More recently, Lizzie Troyer '11 gashed her head open as she ran from a
bonepile. It had to be stapled back together. But she marched four days later,
because da bones are tough like that. But...let's be careful out there, eh?
Why: Once upon a time, someone did something stupid, and it happened.
(Can you tell that we have the origins of these traditions well documented?)
In recent years, Bone Piles have seem to become a necessity of every collection
of bones, and has become more a sign of love than of punishment.
When: During Parades.
Where: During Parades.
What: At a certain spot in the marching cadence, a member of the
bones (the "Splooie-Master") calls this marching style. After
counting it off, the section drops low to the ground, and kicks out our
legs. After the cadence section, the Splooie-Master shouts out for a "straight-march"
which is again counted off. Ask Ed "Splooie" Miranda '97 for a
Other Parading Thingies!
When: During Parades.
Where: During Parades.
What: Torch March, Post Gait, Wiz March (coming soon), Pimp (PIMPIER!)
March, Typewriter (when coordinated), Chips Hat, "Back Dat Ass Up",
And for real fun, combing them! Combo-chips-hat-pimp-march splooie!!
Why: Freestyle Walking!
Where: Wherever, except the 408 living room
What: Just play the song and find out
Why: Because Penn Sucks
Where: Lynah Rink
What: Hopefully, our newest tradition. This started during Tablewine's
bachelor party in July of '97. Best-Man Torch planned a great Bachelor Party
that included...ice time at Lynah! Everyone involved had a bang-up time...literally.
Some of the older alumns are still sore. I think one of the teams actually
won. But it was such a blast, it was unanimously agreed over beers at the
Chapter House afterward that we need to play hockey again and often. Ideas
include Underbone vs. Alumni games. This tradition was renewed in the fall
of 2000, and we hope to have more games in the future.
When: School year
Where: See below list
What: Since we're such a tight-knit group...and we need places for
happy-hours, there is an apartment each year occupied by Bones for Bones.
Bone Central. The vortex of all that is good on campus. Those who live there
understand the risk of having something (or someone) smashed at various
parties throughout the year, as well as friendly visits from "Ithaca's
finest" for noise complaints. The following is a record of past Bone
- '88-'89 -- 4?? Eddy St.
- '89-'90 -- 31? Mitchell St. (@ corner of Linden)
- '90-'91 -- 127 Linden St.
- '91-'92 -- 636 Stewart Ave.
- '92-'93 -- 426 Eddy St.
- '93-'94 -- 120 Oak St.
- '94-'95 -- 134C Valentine Place -- aka "BoneSouth"
- '95-'96 -- 134C Valentine Place -- aka "BoneSouth"
- '96-'97 -- 114 Eddy St. #1 -- aka "Bone Hole", aka "Piece
- '97-'98 -- 411 Dryden Rd. #3 -- aka "La Femme D' Bone", aka
- '98-'99 -- 601 E. State St.
- '99-'00 -- 921 E. State St.
- '00-'01 -- 414 Stewart Ave. aka "Bone Hovel"
- '01-'02 -- 207 Kelvin Place #1 aka "Bone North"
- '02-'03 -- 207 Kelvin Place #1 aka "Bone North"
- '03-'05 -- 410 Dryden aka "The 22% Bone House"
- '05-'08 -- 923 E. State St.
- '08-'15 -- 921 and 923 E. State St. - Both Sides!
- '15-present -- 408 University Ave.
[Ed. note: '88-'92 provided by Craig Bloom '
91 ' 92
'93 and his self-admitted "swiss cheese" memory. That's what 3
senior years with da bones will do to ya. Anyone with more accurate info,
please email email@example.com]
What: Our fearless leaders. Up until the early nineties, the position
was more or less chosen by some holier-than-thou snob on Band Staph. The
section began controlling it's own destiny and leaders several years ago.
The position(s) is good for one calender year (Jan.-Dec.) and is voted by
the section each December, usually after carolling. Of course, we are all
"the Bones" - one big happy family - so the "section leader"
position holds no real power over other members. It's more of an organizational
title. Willing to put up with all the crap thrown at us by Band Staph and
the administration. Able to organize beer runs in a single bound. In recent
years, the position has been handled by tag-team duos.
- 1981: Kathy Barkey
- 1982: Danny Gleitman
- 1983: Kurt Thaller
- 1984: Kurt Thaller
- 1986: Ken Shuman '87
- 1987: Marc Weissman '88
- 1988: Anne West '89
- 1989: Derek "Dersk" Vandivere '90
- 1990: Kevin Rugg '91
- 1991: Jon "Tablewine" Logan '94 (in absentia)
- 1992: Jon "Tablewine" Logan '94
- 1993: Dave "Chuckie" Chamberlin '94, Jon "Tablewine"
- 1994: Mark "Torch" Dawson '96, Rich "Opie" Hovorka
- 1995: Mark "Torch" Dawson '96, Rich "Opie" Hovorka
- 1996: Toby Emo '97, Scott "Scersk" Southard '97
- 1997: Adara Alston '99, Ed "Post" Hutchins '99
- 1998: Ed "Post" Hutchins '99, Joe Salisbury '99
- 1999: Kelly Chesbro '00, Aris "Arsk" Tsoupros '00
- 2000: Mike "Smear" Owens '01, Chad Potocky '02
- 2001: Chris "Bizarro" Parkin '03, Chad Potocky '02
- 2002: Tau Kung '04, Mike "Chips" Steinfeld '03
- 2003: Lauren Forconi '06, Tau Kung '04
- 2004: Maggie Newbold '07, Mike Vance '06
- 2005: Bryan Jolley '06, Kevin Foster '07
- 2006: Maggie "Cello" Rich '07, Zach Maben '08
- 2007: Andie Moffitt '08, Lauren DiCristofaro '10
- 2008: Dennis Buehler '09, Amanda Fischer '10
- 2009: Lauren DiCristofaro '10, Lizzie Troyer '11
- 2010: Lizzie Troyer '11, Kathryn Abbott '12
- 2011: Sarah Modi '12, Zach "Five" Sherman '13
- 2012: Frank Gonzalez '14, Zac "Shark" Shirk '14
- 2013: Frank Gonzalez '14, Joshua "JCS" Schupp '15
- 2014: Rohan Acharya '16, Julia Kelly '16
- 2015: Jackie "Fatneck" Horn '16, Brendan Duffy '17
- 2016: Jordan "Jojo" Greissman '18, Matt "Zug" Gleason '18
- 2017: Alex Fernandez '19, Kevin Juarez-Leon '19
Thanks to K. Rugg for the older ones.
When: Always and Forever...sort of like "Cats", but we
What: WE DON'T SUCK...EVER. Try some other section.
Why: Because we fail to suck.
Any Questions? Bitch to: firstname.lastname@example.org